photo credit drhealth.md

I kind of admit to wanting to roll my eyes at this blog title. Really? I can think of a million thousand people who are in sincere, genuine pain and would swear upside down and sideways that their life is actually quite wonderful (except for the pain of course).

So I will leave you with this by way of introduction. I have been tackling my physical ailments (IBS, leaky gut etc) as they relate to emotional well-being because my body would not heal otherwise. I have, and will on some level always battle, a very strong skeptical voice about my aches and pains being connected to my feelings. That’s calling being human. We want to separate the mind, body and soul.  Modern medicine teaches us to do so in fact.

The trouble is when I tackled my ailments from this holistic “airy, fairy” way I started getting healthier and healthier. So after years of feeling unwell what was I going to do when approached with this relative easy way to feel vibrant? Say SOUNDS DUMB and keep on feeling miserable? I had to choose to see that there are layers to our pain. I cannot emphasize this enough – each body is different and each circumstance unique. This is not a one-size fits all scenario. But for me this concept proved valuable and healing.

Last year though I hit this very tough intersection. The “tools” I had relied on to help me feel healthy and balanced no longer seems to be working. My body “hurt” and my primary coping tools had been physical activity, like yoga. I had bottled up a LOT of emotions. I had stopped taking vacations because my paid time off was all used up from being “sick.” My tank was on EMPTY and instead of acknowledging that I kept on keeping on. I re-injured an achilles injury I had healed. It came back with a vengeance. I put myself in situations with people who were tough on me and didn’t make me a priority, and therefore created even more pissed off feelings I didn’t want to deal with.

It created this momentum of adding insult to injury. I stood face to face with THE VICTIM in me. I didn’t want to go that road, but it seemed like I was getting so much material in my life to support that story. And so that becomes the choice, how can you change your story and believe you are not your pain? How can you see through your pain and see that it’s not a part of you as it so intensely seems to be? And perhaps your pain simply wants you to feel something, to change something so that you can propel yourself forward?

I will leave you with a quote from Liz Gilbert’s Facebook page which inspires me on the daily: “I want to repeat that one line, because it has never stopped ringing in my head: SUFFERING WITHOUT CATHARSIS IS NOTHING BUT WASTED PAIN. Don’t ever let your pain be wasted. Make something of it. Use it for transformation. Harness its power and evolve.”

One last piece of advice from the inimitable Danielle LaPorte:

If you would like to explore this idea further, here are three things I recommend:

1.) E.F.T. Tapping for Pain: Nick Ortner has a book devoted specifically to this

2.) Gabrielle Bernstein recommend Healing Back Pain at my Kripalu program last weekend and this book has been HUGE for me so far and I’m only halfway through.

3.) A Classic: Your Body Speaks Your Mind.

photo credit: melissajoykong.tumblr.com

We all know the frustration of plans falling apart.

A plan that I have been looking forward to, and leaning into, for nearly six months dissipated in front of me a week ago. It was heartbreaking. I had built the foundation of so many other fresh starts and new adventures on the back of this plan. And I had worked for this, and researched and networked and done every possible thing I could think of to help make it happen. Mentally and emotionally I had spent months standing on the edge of a cliff SHOUTING, “I want this. I’m ready.”

It didn’t happen.

To say I was crushed would be an understatement. To be honest, I still almost don’t believe it. It feels surreal.

Right now, I have no idea what I want. I can’t even begin to dream a different dream yet – and that’s okay. The space between dreams, and the shifting of goals and desires is just a important as the moment when they come to life. I believe so wholeheartedly that if my plan didn’t come together it wasn’t supposed to, and something better is supposed to come along.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting and ache, and I’m completely willing to let myself feel all those emotions so I can let them go. As my friend Mike always reminds me, honor but don’t dwell. I honor that plan and the hope and joy and excitement it gave me to have something I was looking forward to.

When the time is right I’ll welcome something even better.

1.) I am officially signed up to be at Kripalu the weekend of August 7th for Amplify your Intuition. I also had my eye on REVEAL, but I’ll have to do that to my list for next year.

2.) I have been taking epsom salt baths every night. I am addicted! A great way to shake negative energy and take good care of yourself.

3.) Very excited to be helping out with a girls empowerment class this summer. Such a special topic near and dear to my heart! I’m going to be talking about essential oils =)

photo from yourbeautifullife.org

If there is one thing that absolutely jazzes me up like no other it is synchronicity. Because basically you can’t fake it, and you can’t really argue with it (unless you’re a TOTAL debbie downer). The synchronicity in my life last year kind of disappeared, and as I’ve gotten more plugged in to where I want to be and what I want to be doing POOF it has popped right back up.

This past Saturday I attended a mediation class at The Organic Angel near my parent’s house. If you live near Norfolk you have to check out Angela’s classes; she’s the owner! I’m always thrilled to get a chance to spend time with Angela and always leave feeling so excited and grateful to have her a friend. Knowledgable, kind, super intuitive, brave and beautifully grounded she is such a treasure!

Back to the class, one of the women in our meditation group’s name was Dawna. The group of us sat down next to each other after meditation for some tea, and Dawna and I introduced ourselves and started talking about the program she’s pursuing in reflexology. She beamed whenever she spoke about it, and it was so thrilling to see how clearly she FOUND her purpose and what she is most excited to share with those around her.

As we began talking more, other people in the conversation chatted with her a little bit, and we didn’t have any additional one-on-one conversation. I left that class went home and then remembered mid-morning the next day that I had promised myself I would stop into The Enchanted Fox (also near my parents) to pick out a pendulum. So I dragged my mom with me for the ride and headed into the shop and my jaw DROPPED as I looked up and saw Shawna standing at the counter paying for her purchase!

SERIOUSLY Universe. That is pretty bomb.

But the best part was that Shawna said to me as we were laughing at the craziness of running into each other twice in two days that she had a question for me she hadn’t had a chance to ask. I had mentioned that I was going to focus more of my coaching on EFT and tapping to Angela as I left, and Shawna asked me about what it was and how it worked. I KNEW! I just knew that she and I were supposed to connect and be in touch with one another once she brought that up. I had mentioned it just in passing to Angela as I was leaving surely if Dawna remembered that and brought it up right away this was important.

Then, my mom picked up a deck of affirmation cards for me from Louise Hay out of the dozens of decks the store sells, and I told her I had purchased them a week earlier. HA! #Synchronicity I couldn’t HANDLE IT.

Three things

1.) I volunteered at Yoga Reaches Out this past weekend and was reminded so much of how drastic a difference one person can make. Chills. Every time I go I get chills.

2.) I’ve recently caught the flower essences bug from my best friend. I’m all about opening up to new stuff lately. I love this affirmation “My greatest expansion occurs when I try new things.” I also ate sardines today for the first time YUCK (but I will get used to it) in the name of omegas and healthy fats.

3.) Someone complimented me this week and said, “you’re radiant.” Inside —> out, every.single.time I get the inside right I get a glow. Seriously. Even people besides my mom say so haha =)

I find myself having this moment at work a lot…tell me if this sounds familiar:

I have my Outlook screen open on my computer and I’m rifling through the (unfortunately) hundreds of emails that fly across my inbox and need to be sorted, responded to and, in certain more trying scenarios, “handled.”

I write a response to EMAIL 1. I am not totally confident in said response..either because of some logistical question (is this donation feasible?), a scheduling issue (am I scheduled to be off that day? who else can handle this?) and so on and so fourth. So I write my response, and then save a draft of it for later….for when I’ve thought about it and have THE RESPONSE.

I move on to other emails, but as I continue digging deeper into the emails, realizing just how many I “should” respond to I realize that I have started about 25% of a response to EMAIL 2 on my priority list and this starts to begin a downward spiral…

From there my commitment to actually finishing each response gets worse and worse. I start a partial response to five or six emails on bad days and think “there! won’t forget that now!” or something like, “Great, I feel better that I started that!”

At Kate Northrup’s recommendation I recently borrowed the book Getting Things Done from the library. In all honesty, I didn’t read very much of it before I sent it back to the library, but here’s the point that it drove home to me immediately.

FINISH THE EMAIL 1 RESPONSE. Close the loop. Complete the task. Your brain can actually relax a great deal because it does not have to keep thinking, “Just reminding you about those emails! Have you made a decision yet? You really should respond to those today before you leave! You’ll never remember to finish a draft of an email, will you?”

And of of course that thinking inevitably leads to moments where you end up believing you’ve finished the task! You think, “Didn’t I already send that response?” because you’ve spent so much mental energy thinking about completing it without actually doing so.

UGH! I’ve been focusing on this a lot lately because I really believe this habit contributes to a lot of stress I’m experiencing during my workday that’s not necessary. If you’re anything like me, the truth is nine times out of ten you have a gut response to most of the emails you’re hesitant to respond to. JUST WRITE THAT. 

Oftentimes, I need to draw a boundary. I need to just be okay saying no, sorry, my plate is currently full and stop trying to stretch myself in one more direction. Sometimes, I have little things I need to follow up on in order to give the email an appropriate answer and I try to do those little things RIGHT AWAY. Check. Done Response complete.

Less lingering and hanging on…more COMPLETE energy. It definitely takes some commitment to change old habits, but I highly recommend it!

1.) I am so excited to attend my good friend Mike Iamele’s book launch party tomorrow night. He’s also an herbalist and I can’t wait to try some of the drinks he’s whipping up!

2.) Today was the last day of Whole Foods Market’s 50% off Weleda sale for the month of March. On my way out of the building today I snagged the Wild Rose Body Oil. Pamper yo self!

3.) I just ate my first fresh mango of the season. It is candy. healthy CANDY. Go get one!!!!