Driving home from work last week, I heard the voice of doubt loud and clear. Over the past week or so I’ve been questioning some of the most vulnerable and difficult decisions I’ve made in terms of time management, my goals, my career, relationships and so on.
There’s this squeaky wheel. This inkling. That I missed something. That there were words I was supposed to say but didn’t have the courage to. A leap I could’ve taken but covered my eyes and instead stayed put. A moment when I could’ve been more honest about what I wanted, but I chose what others thought fit instead.
Here’s what I finally realized after catching myself mentally beating lil ole me up again. The perfectionist in me wants to go and FIX SOMETHING back there in the past that I feel like I didn’t quite get right. This is actually kind of hysterical! And why I am still punishing myself? It’s OVER.
What better way to model the Maya Angelou “when you know better, you do better” philosophy then to move FORWARD. New people. New places. New experiences. New challenges. I’m a virgo and I’ve always been extremely analytical which means it’s really easy for me to lost in this mental game of ping pong and not actually get off my behind and DO SOMETHING.
Thanks to my OBSESSION with Lewis Howes’ podcasts (I think I can definitely say I am card carrying member of the school of greatness), I have been hammering this commitment to stay vulnerable, hungry and committed into my head. All that garbage from the past is straight up JUNK, and I’m over trying to be perfect. Never going to get there, done with trying. I can’t create anything and put anything out into the world if I’m living in the past. It’s impossible.
The truth is we will always have things that we look back on and wish we could do differently. For me the biggest lesson I’ve taken away is to pay attention and be clear on not making the same mistake twice. Plus, the future holds so many CRAZY AMAZING possibilities. Why not focus on that?
1.) At Wanderlust, Elena Brower taught a class on the four directions and she used this phrase: “LET IT BE JUST FOR YOU.” She said this cue in order to have everyone bring their focus back on their own bodies and not engage with what their neighbor was or wasn’t doing. I’ve thought of that phrase so often in the weeks after that class, and I’ve realized it applies to so many instances. LET IT BE JUST FOR YOU. When you’re tempted to compare yourself to other people on social media. Let it be just for you and say no instead of always saying YES. Let it be just for you and close your eyes in yoga class. Let it be just for and BE GOOFY, silly outrageous, and little too much of something. The worlds needs your real YOU.
2.) I’m still sticking to my candida program, but if I weren’t I’d be eating THESE: Paleo Caramel Brownies from Elana’s Pantry (which makes this free of gluten, refined sugar, and dairy!).
3.) ALL THE BATH SALTS. Get on board the bath wagon, friends!