Here is the scenario:
You have this thing you’ve been looking forward to. And then something happens and it’s delayed. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s delayed inevitably or delayed for a week or a day because it’s the feeling in that moment – the experience of life throwing you a curve ball that’s unsettling.
I posted about my anxiety a couple weeks ago, and I’ve long understood that anxiety is quieted by the notion that we’re in control. So often, we can shape and mold our lives to fit into this idea that if we plan enough, if we save enough, if we work hard enough then we’ll stay the course and not hit stormy waters.
There are a couple issues that I’ve come across with that line of thinking though.
1.) I have no interest in a boring life. Curve balls give our lives a sense of adventure and spontaneity and remind us that everything can’t and shouldn’t be planned ahead of time.
2.) Curve balls are EVERYWHERE (trying to dodge them all the time is completely unrealistic) and there’s beauty in the curve balls. Last year a blizzard in March kept me from a friend’s wedding, and I stayed home and finally looked a scenario in the eye that I had been avoiding.
3.) Curve balls teach you how to pivot, change plans and come up with creative solutions. They’ve also taught me flexibility and forced me to live in the present moment.
Thankfully, I’m much faster on the uptick now with curve balls.
Having to spend a bunch of time at doctors offices in December and January was absolutely a curve ball for me. The bills. The hours missed at work. The parties, gatherings and family commitments I wasn’t able to attend. All curve balls. All ridiculously frustrating at the time, but I’ve learned how to take all that negativity and disappointment and be willing to change my life in the best ways I can so I don’t find myself in the same situation. There was a lot of opportunity for me to recognize ways that I could be living healthier and happier and to acknowledge the things that I could work on and improve even though the situation at large wasn’t completely under my control.
I see the gifts in those frustrating and draining experiences. I see how they opened my eyes to things in my life I wasn’t noticing.
Tough stuff is still going to happen. Period.
You can fight, fight, fight against the situation or you can surrender the fear and the anger and acknowledge that you’re not in control. You can try to recognize how an experience is helping you grow and possibly even see how it’s giving you an opportunity to let go of an old pattern. Ultimately, you will be stronger. You will live with more conviction. You will have more discipline. You will fight more adamantly for your dreams.
Each curve ball tests your resolve a little bit. How bad do you want it? How much are you willing to change to reach your goal or stay committed to your dream?
I drove by a hospital this past week while looking at another apartment with my roommate, and I looked up into the windows and said over and over in my head….thank you. thank you. thank you. thank you.
I got to leave the hospital after all the appointments and tests were said and done. All the really “scary” tests came back negative. Do I have a clear answer yet? Nope! Am I living my way toward it? Absolutely. Have a I learned (and re-learned) a whole lot in the process. For sure.
1.) Do you love mason jars? Then you will love Cuppow. Think lids for your mason jar so you can drink like a lady and take you jar on-the-go!
2.) Some of my favorite Rumi quotes:
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”
3.) Check out this documentary: “I AM” I re-watched it this past week, and I love the messages it combines. Tom Shadyac (who directed Ace Ventura & Bruce Almighty) made the film and he does a fantastic job addressing some big questions about the world + love + human connection.