I realized something pretty important a couple of weeks ago. Here was my revelation:
I was being a wimp, and I wasn’t sticking up for ME!
I wasn’t being a good team leader at work (which started with first acknowledging that I had to take some days off and rest after my slew of doctor appointments). I had to stop telling my team I was going to show up when I was too sick to do so.
I wasn’t advocating for myself with my landlord. Four comforters, five layers of pajamas, and sleeping in a hat is NOT okay. But I was acting like it was because I didn’t want to make waves, deal with the fact that I needed to start apartment hunting again and tell my landlord what he was doing was not legal.
I wasn’t holding myself accountable with my diet. This pesky thing had crept back into my diet: SUGAR. Having struggled with candida and leaky gut in the past, I know I have to pay really close attention to how much sugar “sneaks” into my diet. Even the healthiest sugars can add up to put extra strain on my digestive system. Fruits, dried fruit, maple syrup, raisins, honey..uh yeah. I’d been eating a lot of those. So proud that I wasn’t having any refined sugar (and loving some Paleo recipes), I had let a lot of sugar sneak back into my life, especially in my morning smoothies. Gulp!
So, what did I do about it? I’m in the midst of changing a whole bunch of patterns, and it feels so refreshing (and also a little terrifying). I’m investing more time and energy into the practices that helped me heal. I’ve fallen back into yoga in a big way. I’ve started (awkwardly and uncomfortably) speaking up for myself in a lot of different situations personally and professionally. It feels uncomfortable and silly sometimes, but it also feels extremely necessary.
Perhaps most importantly, I remembered that I don’t need everyone in my life to like me. And usually if you’re making EVERYONE happy all the time, you’ve sacrificed some of your authenticity and power along the way.
I believe the greatest possible gift I can give is to show up and stand in my truth and hold other people accountable when the situation calls for it. By speaking up, you give someone a chance to acknowledge his or her patterns and change. A lot of times that chance to live bigger and see things in a new way even though it may be met with resistance at first can crack open the door to tremendous positive life change.
1.) Do you have a favorites folder in your gmail inbox? I move a random collection of my favorite emails into this folder including one with this job advice from my Dad a few months ago, “One of the hidden assets you have in your life at this moment is flexibility. Leverage this uncertainty your advantage. Go for it!” My Dad’s a great inspiration to me! This idea came out of a suggestion from a coworker years ago to create a “Nice Work” folder that you save complimentary emails from clients/coworkers/bosses to remember when you’re writing up your “brag” list during a job review.
2.) Completely and totally addicted to these solmate socks. So warm, cozy and cute!
3.) Haven’t solved what’s causing my latest round of GI issues, but candida seems to be at least part of the story. I’m getting recipes in order to start a sugar cleanse (and maybe quit sugar), and I’m psyched to have resources like this from Gabby B. Off to download some I Quit Sugar ebooks.