Life is really beautiful, bold and bright sometimes – and other times it’s heavy, wrenching and strained. Each pole serves its purpose and can teach us really beautiful gifts about who we are and what we want to go after.

I have followed the yoga teacher Ashley Turner for quite some time now because I believe she brings the soul of yoga into the poses she teaches, and she recently mentioned enduring heartache in an article on The Daily Love.

She talks about slowing down during a breakup and the need to take what she calls “soul time.”

The ancient Greeks called this aspect of time:

Chairos: a time of transcendence, time of the Soul, right-brained  – when something magical happens.

For a very long time, I thought the indulgence of self care and slowing down after a break up was some kind of admission of weakness. I thought it impractical. I thought it marked a “sensitive” person. I thought wrong.

We are so locked into our western society time perception…

Chronos: left-brained, chronological, sequential time based on an outer metric, goal-oriented.

Grief is not something we can set to a timer. We hurt until we don’t hurt anymore. We cry until the hurt dulls slightly. I have tried before to match my emotions to those around me and been disappointed that I couldn’t move on faster, or care less, or pretend that love, in any version for any period of time, isn’t a miracle in and of itself.