For many years I was a bit too interested in everyone else’s advice. I feel like I lived my life as if decisions should be made after I’d gathered the appropriate number of votes. Majority wins. That clearly was not an effective strategy, I very rarely allowed myself to want what I wanted if it was in opposition to someone else.
BUT. Big but, there have also been a few times in my life when a friend, family member or colleague has seen me struggling with something and leaned over my shoulder with words so wildly helpful that I pass them on like little pronounceable presents and continue to pay them forward.
Here are three that stick out in my mind:
1.) Sometimes you have to throw money at the problem.
A colleague said this to me once when I was struggling to extricate myself from a super-stressful living situation. I had to break my lease, loose my last month’s rent and get out. It was a lesson that stayed with me a for a long time – and I now often apply it in reverse. I throw money at my passions frequently. I actively participate in allowing myself to pursue things I love and not feel like I’m budgeted to the max.
2.) You create your relationship to time.
How often do we all hear and say phrases like “If only I had more time.” “There just aren’t enough hours in the day.” I used to find myself rushing and running around like crazy about 95% of the time. Rush, worry, repeat. Today, I trust time is on my side. I get clear on my priorities and try to be as realistic as possible about what will really serve me that particular day. I often ask to be guided to the best possible experiences, at the best possible time for me.
3.) You already know what you want.
I used to be such a waffler (as evidenced by all that time gathering endless advice.) I would claim to be confused, frustrated, lost, overwhelmed, and scared. I was completely out of touch with the fact that I had to give myself permission to sit in silence and really tune into my voice. Gasp! Today, I often talk out loud to myself if I’m feeling funky. It’s like verbal free writing. I’ll say something like “I’m feeling completely anxious about this”.. I think it’s because, and I’ll just listing things.